The Beginning of the End? Or the End of the Beginning?

I have been thinking a lot about ending this blog. I still enjoy posting on occasion, but over the past six months or so I have been questioning the usefulness and importance of the blog in general.

1) Blogs themselves have gone a bit out of fashion. I am certainly not a slave to trends, but because blogs themselves are no longer as popular as they once were, I have found that fewer and fewer people are reading this. I, too, have stopped reading other people's blogs. It just isn't as relevant as it used to be.

2) I still get a ton of hits a day, so people are reading, but I assume most of them are strangers. The friends who read this blog keep up with my life in much more organic ways. My friends know my life through facebook or old fashioned "real life" interactions. What I write here is almost just a reiteration of what they already know.

3) One of the driving forces of this blog was the guilt I felt for not keeping a journal. In the LDS church, members of the congregation are encouraged (and commanded) to keep a journal. I am not so good at that, but this blog served its purpose. And speaking of the LDS church...

4) I didn't realize it at the time, but I think perhaps this blog was really about tracking my exit out of the LDS faith. When I first started writing I was "almost, but not entirely" Mormon. I was almost, but not entirely, ready to leave. I was caught between two truths, and while I have written about a multitude of issues over the past four years, I think the underlying issue has been to navigate the decision of whether to leave or not.

In the past two months or so, I have become remarkably more comfortable with not being Mormon. I rarely check the exMormon message boards or discuss the issue with my friends or feel angst about the decision. I feel very at peace with where I am, and most days I don't think about the issue at all. The truth is, I am starting to forget that I am "leaving" the LDS church. I have left. That ship has sailed.

Because of this, I am starting to feel like I no longer need to record the daily happenings of my life. Sure, I still have lots of problems and such, but I don't feel the need to write about them. I guess I feel like the blog has served its purpose, and I am not sure I need it in the same way.

I still have some posts I want to write about, especially as I "officially" complete the exit and pen my resignation letter. Perhaps since it is summer and I have more time, I will find more desire to post and write. I don't know. I guess I have plenty of time to figure it out.